"Are you sure this is right Ma?"
"Yes Paulie dear, this is how we hid our lumps and bumps before they invented dieting. Of course you have a bump that us girls don't, but the same principal will apply."
"There we go. No lumps there now."
"Thanks Ma, what would I do without you?"
"Probably mince about like some hooker with a bulge in her pants I suspect. "
"You're very understanding Ma, doesn't it shock you that I'm a transvestite?"
"Not really dear, your Daddy was too. All I insist upon is that you dress and act like a lady. Now keep those knees tight together when you're wearing stockings."